About the Author

AGar US AGar
Name: Alex Gardner
Age: 26
Location: Port Jervis, NY
StarCraft Head of Coverage

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A Bittersweet Farewell

I guess my general direction of this will be timing. It's a really funny thing how it works out in odd ways.

I used to be very involved with the internet competitive gaming scene. Like, so involved, it was my life. It wasn't healthy, so I scaled back. But I had still been involved up until recently. I was still writing for a site and still advising a few friends I had made. However, I had been hit really hard with burnout, to the point where it was no longer fun. Even when I was logging 40-50 hours a week working on various tournaments, leagues, articles and other failed projects, I enjoyed it. It was my way of being a part of something, and it was also my way of connecting. Through my work online, I have made countless friends that I have actually gotten to know quite well. But I had become fed up. I needed to escape.

There's no real good transition for this, but it will make sense. I promise. Or it might not. But still, trust me anyways. It'll be worth it in the end.

For two weeks now, I have been dating the most wonderful, amazing, funny, beautiful girl in the world. Hands down. Erin is everything I could ever ask for in my life, she really is. She's understanding, supportive and she's got the best personality. These past two weeks have been pure bliss. As much as I hate that word for other reasons, they have.

I noticed a few nights ago that it had been some two to three weeks since I had done anything online other than check Facebook and play Facebook games. Usually, my absence would be something that bothered me. I would be upset that I had slacked off in my presence.

However, this time was different. I wasn't upset. At all. I was happy that I had managed to break my habit of constantly being at the attention of something online. I was happy I had moved on, because it was something I hadn't been able to do for a very very long time, but it was something I needed to do.

I'm not a religious person anymore, but I do have some beliefs, including the belief that almost everything happens for a reason, and I can't help but feel that this timing wasn't just coincidence. Don't get me wrong - I love Erin for who she is, and I'm incredibly happy (and lucky) to have her in my life. I'm dating her because of it, and I never want to lose her. But I can't help but feel part of the reason things happened now instead of earlier or later was to divert my attention to something much more positive in my life than what I had been focused on. And I'm glad if that's the case, because I'm doing better because of it.

I've told her before, she was the turnaround I really needed in my life in so many ways.

So, to all of my friends across the globe who are reading this. To those of you who I have worked with in some capacity or another on articles or tournaments. To those of you who I met at tournaments or events. To those of you who I've talked to for hours on IRC or MSN or anything else. I thank you for the influence you had in my life. Because of my involvement in gaming, I have developed some skills that are useful in my day-to-day life that I may have never developed otherwise. I have aspired to do things I never may have aspired for. But I must move on from that life, from those communities. Everyone's time comes, and my time is now. All good things that begin, also end. But with that end comes an exciting new beginning to another chapter of my life, and it's heading in a wonderful direction so far.

So, it is with a mix of joy and sadness that I say goodbye to all of you. I wish you the best, and I wish you good luck.


Comments: Add a Comment

quote#1 US peawok 22/02/2010 - 12:28:20
really sad news. good luck in life my man. hope you can keep in touch.

quote#2 US Var1ables 25/02/2010 - 00:55:50
PCE man, hope you have fun with your girlfriend and everything you try to do in the future. It's sad to see you go but i'm sure you'll come back...eventually, even if it's just as a reader. :)

quote#3 US JimmyNR 24/03/2010 - 20:58:47
a bit late..but that's depressing and sucks

quote#4 US AGar 28/08/2010 - 17:07:23
Originally posted by US Var1ablesPCE man, hope you have fun with your girlfriend and everything you try to do in the future. It's sad to see you go but i'm sure you'll come back...eventually, even if it's just as a reader. :)

I hate you for being right, Var1.

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